The process was particularly intense yesterday afternoon. In the car, waiting, one was almost oblivious to what was going on around one. The intensity increased, and it was almost unbearable so one was forced to lie down. Fortunately, there was someone in the room.
The room became full with that benediction. Now what followed is almost impossible to put down in words; words are such dead things, with definite set meanings, and what took place was beyond all words and description. It was the centre of all creation; it was a purifying seriousness that cleansed the brain of every thought and feeling; its seriousness was as lightning which destroys and burns up; the profundity of it was not measurable, it was there immovable, impenetrable, a solidity that was as light as the heavens.
It was in the eyes, in the breath. It was in the eyes, and the eyes could see. The eyes that saw, that looked were wholly different from the eyes of the organ and yet they were the same eyes. There was only seeing, the eyes that saw beyond time-space. There was impenetrable dignity and a peace that was the essence of all movement, action. No virtue touched it for it was beyond all virtue and sanctions of man. There was love that was utterly perishable, and so it had the delicacy of all new things, vulnerable, destructible and yet it was beyond all this. It was there imperishable, unnameable, the unknowing. No thought could ever penetrate it; no action could ever touch it. It was pure, untouched and so ever-dyingly beautiful.
All this seemed to affect the brain; it was not as it was before. Because of it, relationship seems to have changed. As a terrific storm or destructive earthquake gives a new course to the rivers, changes the landscape, digs deep into the earth, so it has levelled the contours of thought – such a trivial thing; necessary but trivial – and changed the shape of the heart.
The whole process is going on as usual, in spite of a cold and feverish state. It has become more acute and more insistent. One wonders how long the body can carry on.
Yesterday, as we were walking up a beautiful narrow valley, its steep sides dark with pines and green fields full of wildflowers, suddenly, most unexpectedly, for we were talking of other things, a benediction descended upon us, like gentle rain. We became the centre of it. It was gentle, pressing, infinitely tender and peaceful, enfolding us in a power that was beyond all fault and reason.
Early this morning, on waking, changing, changeless purifying seriousness and an ecstasy that had no cause. It simply was there. And during the day, whatever one did it was there in the background, and it came directly and immediately to the fore when one was quiet. There is an urgency and beauty in it.
No imagination or desire could ever formulate such profound seriousness.